


i just want to feel unlost

by currahees



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: M/M, just short lil drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-08-14 16:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20195014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/currahees/pseuds/currahees
Summary: short drabbles based on the quote“i’ll take care of you.”“it’s rotten work.”“not to me. not if it’s you.”





	1. speirton

**Author's Note:**

> i cant ever finish a piece of writing. so here i am. starting another series. oops?  
find me on tumblr, my username is speirtons.  
(title from the maine's song, “unlost”).

It’s silent in their room. The night had fallen hours ago and they had nowhere to be. Ron insisted that Carwood sleep, after all Doc said he was sick and needed the rest. After which came the argument over who would take the bed in the middle of the room and despite much back and forth, Ron refused to sleep in it if Carwood wouldn’t. Which led to this moment. Both of them dangerously close to each other. They were exchanging hushed whispers even though no one was around to overhear them.

“I don’t like disappointing the men, that’s all,” Carwood sighs, his chest feeling lighter having confused his fears of not being a strong figure.

“They all look up to you in an immeasurable way, you couldn’t let them down if you tried,” Ron replies, his comment completely accurate. Even if he couldn’t see it himself, Ron saw the way the men looked at Carwood. They admired everything about him from his calm nature to his assertive decisions in a time of need. They not only respected him but enjoyed his company. Something Ron was yet to earn from the men.

“What about you?” Lipton whispers, his voice treading into dangerous suggestions.

Ron hesitates, wanting to make sure his reply is thought out first. “I think you’re the best leader we have. There’s not a single man under your command who wouldn’t risk their lives for yours. You manage to be compassionate and have mercy, something I used to believe a soldier couldn’t function with. You changed my mind about that.”

In the moment of silence that follows, Carwood thinks about a hundred different things. About how wrong everyone is about Ron, how he’s not a single-dimensional soldier trained to kill. How glad he is to have gotten closer to him in the previous months. And how much he wishes Ron would let him in, just a little bit. Enough for Carwood to be able to demonstrate that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Let me in, Ron. Please,” Carwood mumbles, barely audible over the sound of war that echoed outside the comfort of their walls.

“I can’t put that burden on you. The things I’ve seen, the things I’ve done. It wouldn’t be fair,” Ron whispers, drawing his eyes away from Carwood’s.

“I’ll take care of you,” he whispers, a spoken promise shared between the two of them.

“It’s rotten work,” Ron reiterates.

“Not to me. Not if it’s you.” Carwood says in such a soft voice that Ron almost believes him. Maybe one night he’d let him in. A night where they weren’t surrounded by the horrors of death every day or reminded that in an instant they could lose each other. But for tonight, the spoken promise was enough to give Ron hope. And that was all he needed.


	2. baberoe

Babe’s confused. Lost. Unsure. He knows what he wants, his heart is beating so hard he’s afraid it’ll break through his ribs and leave him. But he isn’t sure of the other man's reaction and he doesn’t know how to proceed.

“Heffron, you gonna stand there all day?”

The voice pulls him from his trance. Babe looks across the empty room at Gene, sat alone in the shared room. They were in some hell hole, a half bombed-out town in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Babe was tired, tired of the war, tired of waiting for someone to die, tired of everything.

Wordlessly, he moves to sit on his bed across from Gene. They exchange a look, Gene running a hand through his hair. Babe can see the blood that seems to be permanently hidden under his nails, splattered across his pale skin. Gene sees it too and suddenly he’s shaking. Eugene Roe, the fearless company medic is shaking. And Babe doesn’t know what to do.

He moves to Gene’s bed, taking up the space next to him. Softly and slowly he places his hands over the other man's shaking ones. His hands are cut up, there’s a scar that runs along his palm from Bastogne and several other from who-the-fuck knows where. The silence around them is deafening. Babe tries to speak but the words are stuck on his tongue. Instead, he moves a little closer, their legs pressed together. Gene slowly responds to the human contact, leaning his head on Babe’s shoulder. He lets out a sigh and Babe can feel him physically letting go.

“Let me take care of you,” Babe whispers, his words finally free.

“It’s rotten work,” Gene mumbles back, not missing a beat. The memories of a childhood once forgotten, the horrors he had seen in the short span of a few years. His friends dying in his hands, their blood forever staining his skin. The darkness that crawled into his mind on even the happiest of days. Death followed him and he couldn’t place that burden on anyone else, especially not Edward. _Babe_, he thought to himself. Beautiful, bright, breathtaking Babe. Gene couldn’t, he wouldn’t subject him to the demons that haunted him day and night.

“Not to me. Not if it’s you,” Babe shakes his head, adamant on his answer. “Nothing about you could be rotten.”

Gene smiles. A genuine smile where his hands have stopped shaking and for once when he looks down he doesn’t see the blood of his dead friends dripping from his fingertips. He braves a moment, very carefully interlocking his fingers with Babe’s. There’s no hesitation or pull back from the other man and when Gene makes eye contact he finds him grinning back. Babe’s eyes are alight with happiness and Gene feels himself blooming again.


	3. winnix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this winnix chapter is dedicated to kat, ily loser)

Nixon wants nothing more than to crawl into his half dug out foxhole and forget the world. Forget the duties, forget the favours he owes people and most importantly forget about the piles of letters waiting for him to sign telling mothers that their sons aren’t coming back home.

He has a few more hours until he can squeeze in a few hours of sleep. Although his attempts at sleep are usually futile and end in him trying to hide his sobs, but that sounds better than being surrounded by the white snow that was too often stained with blood.

“Hey Lew, how you holding up?”

Nixon looks up from his map to find a smiling Dick Winters. All of a sudden he feels lighter, he hates how breathless he becomes around him. But he loves it too.

“Not bad, you know how it is,” he shrugs, forcing himself to look at his map again. Expecting Dick to carry on with his patrol, he’s surprised when he sits down next to him.

“I know you haven’t been sleeping, you look awful, Nix,” Dick says.

“Well you don’t look half bad either,” Nixon tries to play it off as a joke but he’s aching for someone to care about him, actually care about him the way Dick seems to.

And Dick? He sees right through Nixon’s facade. He knows he’s in pain and he wants to do whatever he can for him. He’s been trying to act casual but his heart’s a traitor and he can’t hide it anymore. He’s never been too good at admitting his feelings point-blank. “Go and rest. I’ll cover your shift. I’ve got you, I’ll take care of you.”

Nixon feels his breath hitch in his throat. He can see the hidden message in Dick’s eyes, he knows what he’s saying. “It’s rotten work,” he whispers, not wanting to admit it to himself or Dick. But he didn’t deserve Dick and he knew this. He couldn’t fall for this man, not when he was already falling and couldn’t ever seem to save himself.

Dick’s voice, unwavering and ever confident breaks him. “Not to me. Not if it’s you.” That’s everything he’s needed to hear for years. The idea that someone would love him, flaws and insecurities included seemed impossible. But the steady look in Dick’s eyes and the soft hand on his shoulder washes away any doubts he has. 

For the first time in months, Lewis is able to sleep for a few hours without waking up to his own sobs. And when Dick greets him with a cup of coffee, he finds himself smiling.


	4. luztoye

Neither of them are exactly sure how they got here. It’s late and they can still hear their friends drinking in the bar downstairs. They don’t know the horrors that await them or the things they’ll see. For now, it’s just the two of them and the stars blinking above them.

“What would you be doing right now? If you weren’t here,” George asks, turning to look at Joe. They were laid on the roof, their arms folded under their heads as they stargazed together.

Joe considers this for a moment. “Back home, working probably. What about you?”

“School. Maybe. I wasn’t ever the best at academic things though,” George replies.

“Me neither,” Joe mumbles. There’s a moment of agreement and silence. Joe’s always struggled with his lack of academic talent but with George, he felt at home. He didn’t worry about the words he used even if he wasn’t as well-spoken as some of the other men. He was just himself. He takes a drink of his beer before putting the empty bottle down to the side. “Georgie?”

“Yeah, Joe?”

Joe struggles to find the words so he settles for the truth. “I’m scared,” he whispers. There’s no response and for a moment Joe’s afraid he’s fucked up. They’re soldiers, they’re not supposed to be scared.

“Hell, me too Joe. Absolutely shittin’ myself. I wish I was anywhere else but here,” George admits, letting out a sigh of relief that he wasn’t the only one feeling this.

“Well, right now isn’t too bad,” Joe smiles.

“We’ll be okay, we’ll look after each other,” George promises him.

Joe feels the familiar tightness in his chest when someone got close to him. “It’s rotten work.”

George doesn’t hesitate, he moves a little closer so there’s less distance between the two of them, “not to me. Not if it’s you.”

Joe feels his chest tighten but for a different reason this time. He looks back up at the stars, the future not seeming as daunting with George next to him. “I’ll look after you too,” he whispers, their vows to each other drifting away with the cold night air.

Of course, they’re unaware that in a few years they’ll both be looking up at the same stars. Huddled under blankets, desperately trying to keep warm despite the cold constantly surrounding them.

“Hey, Joe? Remember those promises we made to each other the night before we jumped?” George asks, barely getting the words out through his chattering teeth.

“Course I do, why?” Joe answers, shoving his hands under his arms to stop them shaking.

George lets out a small laugh, “we’ve done a pretty good job so far, don’t ya think? Lookin’ after each other.”

Joe thinks about it, letting out a small laugh himself, “yeah, guess we did.”

The pair spend the rest of the night talking and reminiscing, the cold not seeming as fierce as before.


	5. webgott

Webster’s been back from the hospital for a few weeks but he can still hear the screams in his mind. The stench of death and the constant sight of men dying plagued his mind like a virus. He was slowly unravelling but he couldn’t let anyone know.

The cold of the night bites at his skin and with no blanket or no real walls protecting them from the elements, David curls into himself to try and keep warm. After several failed attempts to fall asleep, he gives up and makes his way to another part of the village they were staying at. Preferably a place where he couldn’t hear Cobb snoring.

Joe saw David through the shadows making his way to the other side of the small town. Having given up on any attempt at sleep, he grabs his weapon and follows him. David stops short of a field and lays down, his helmet next to him and his eyes focused on the stars. Joe hesitates for a minute, before moving towards him.

“Hey, Web,” he greets him.

David looks at him and sighs, “if you’re here to be a dick, just don’t.”

Joe feels a slight pang of guilt, “no, I was wondering if you wanted company.”

David takes a second before patting the ground next to him. Joe does the same as David, taking off his helmet and laying out next to him. The two men lie there in silence for a while, their eyes focused on the sky above them.

“What were they like?” Joe whispers. He doesn’t need to clarify, they both know what he means. The Hospitals.

“Hell on Earth,” David mumbles in response. Everyone heard about the rumours, the longer you’re stuck in a hospital the more you see. Even the briefest of stays ended in nightmares.

“That bad?” Joe asks, turning to look at David. “You can tell me, ya know. I’ll listen, I promise.”

“I don’t know, Joe. I can’t bring myself to think about it again. I’ll end up a mess again,” David admits.

“I’ll look after you,” Joe says, surprising himself as well as David with his sudden emotional outpour.

“It’s rotten work,” David shakes his head.

He’s stubborn, but Joe’s not giving up, “not to me. Not if it’s you.”

For once when they make eye contact and it isn’t a look of anger or annoyance found in their eyes. _I could find a home in those eyes, _Joe thinks to himself. One day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally finished a series! i hope you all enjoyed this as much as i did writing it!  
as always, your comments and kudos are much appreciated <33


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